Saturday, June 30, 2007

DISASTER!!!

I saw the poster last week.

Actually there was more than a poster.

Photo courtesy of Stephen Wilson

As you can see, there was a full on display couch for people to sit and have their pictures taken with the Simpsons. It was cool. But when reading the sign, I noticed, the movie isn't coming out until AUGUST 28. A WHOLE MONTH AFTER IT'S BEEN OUT IN AMERICA.

I was planning on seeing the movie opening day, and even possibly shaving my head and dressing like Homer. Bastards! Of all the movies.

I mean, I saw Spiderman 3 five days before you people in America. I saw Transformers today, another few days before you people will have the chance. (Yes, it was awesome.)

Oh well, the good news is I am coming home in August, so I won't have to wait until the 28th to take splendor in the Simpsons Movie. By the way, I'll be home August 17 and am leaving the 27th. My schedule will be packed pretty tight because I have a lot of time to spend with Marissa and the family. But there are still a few folks I have penciled in for things. Shoot me an e-mail if you want to hang out. I will try to see as many people as I can, but it will be a busy ten days.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

I can't stop sweating ...

No I haven't been watching the Directors cut DVD of "Driving Miss Daisy" (Damn, Jessica Tandy was hot in that.)

It's summer on the peninsula and that means monsoon season. From now until the end of July, it will rain every two to three days as the temperature increases from the high 80s into the mid-90s.

It's so miserable weather wise. I can't do anything without sweating like a pig. I walk outside, and BAM!, there it is.

The heat and humidity themselves don't bother me, but their byproduct, sweat, does. Coming from the Desert, I am no stranger to heat. But this humidity is nasty. Oh people if only you could put your hand through the computer screen and place them under my arm to feel the moisture. And those of you from the USC Debate club know there's more moisture than from another person.

Oh the humanity.

Seoul Land - Bumper cars

A rare near bump during bumper cars.

OK, So I know we've all heard the jokes about Asian drivers. And for the most part (99%) those jokes are true. The same goes in Asia itself. Drivers here in Korea are HORRIBLE.

Oddly, because I've never seen this rule follow in another country, the cabbies here are the best drivers. The rest of the streets are bedlam though.

So when I was at Seoul Land with the kids a few weeks ago, I saw bumper cars and thought, "This might be cool."

And there was a big part of me, who hasn't driven a car since he left America, to take on the Asians. Since I don't have a car here, this would be the only way I could really show them how one can drive bad.

Look how damn far apart these cars are.

But as I queued for the bumper cars I saw something that struck me. These people were driving fine. They weren't even bumping each other. THEY DROVE BUMPER CARS BETTER THAN THEY DRIVE REGULAR CARS!

What the hell is wrong with you people.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Sometimes I feel bad about taking a paycheck for this job ...

Actually, no, that thought has never crossed my mind.

Nor did it when I went with the fourth graders to Seoul Land amusement park Monday.

Since I teach fourth grade classes every Monday, it was only natural that I join the kids on their field trip, then ditch them when they went into some show so I could go on roller coasters.

Me and the kids at the end of the day.

It was a blast though, which really surprised me. I hate amusement parks, but Korean amusement parks are kind of cool. For one, they are full of copyright violations.



Check out the Peter Pan ride and the knockoff Epcot Center.

As cheesy as it sounds though, the best part of the day was the kids. The kids at my school love me for the simple fact that I am a foreigner. All day they were hanging around with me, watching me play games and going nuts when I did anything.



Korean kids can't help but make the peace sign when they pose for pictures. Next weeks lesson is that it doesn't look cool anymore.

At lunch time, we were in this children's play land area and went in an played some of the games. When I went to the Chuck E. Cheese style ball room, they kids went nuts and started pelting me with plastic balls. Some of those kids had some pretty good arms on them too.

This netting reminded me of obstacle course in basic before I went to Nam.

I ran into this room with thinking the padded columns stood up against force. I fell on my ass, but then again, the kids loved watching Mr. L fall.

The ball room.

Friday, June 8, 2007

Dogs ...

Yes, it's finally come to posting about eating dogs.

I was hesitant to seek this topic out, being a dog lover, but oh too curious not to ask Koreans about dog meat.

As many people have inquired through comments and questions on this blog and through e-mail, I went and found answers. The things I do for you people.

Dog meat is popular here. Oh yes it is. It's not just a North Korean thing but a Korean thing. And it's odd because it's not something you come across everyday. It would be almost impossible to "accidentally" eat dog meat. First, because it's regarded as a delicacy and only served in seasons. Second because Koreans don't just come out with the fact that they love chomping on man's best friend.

But, I've been diplomatic about it. After all, I didn't feel comfortable just arriving off the plane and asking, "Where's Rover? I'm starving."

No, Koreans are very aware of what Westerners think about dog meat, partly thanks to the bang up Korean media (these guys [media outlets] really suck.)

This monk, praying at a ancient temple site, might be Buddhist, but he's also Korea. More than likely, the dog next to him will be consumed within the next few months.

It all started a few weeks ago in an English conversation class I have every Friday with teachers. We have a "anything goes" policy implemented by me that anyone may ask any question and the only person who has veto power is me. (OK, this isn't a formal rule, but what can I say, I enforce it regularly.)

We were discussing travel and what bizarre things we've eaten as a result. I mentioned kokorech, a delightful Turkish sandwich made of sheep's intestines. (It was one of my favorite Turkish foods.)

Then they asked me, "Will you eat dog?"

I've read an seen pictures about how horribly the dogs are treated before and when they die. (If you want to find out more about it just google it, I'm not doing all your research for you.)

But there's something in my mind and heart that knows I can't live in Korea without having tried dog meat. It would be damn near criminal of me.

So I answered very honestly, that I will try it at least once. (Maybe twice if I am allowed seconds.

Boshintang, which is the Korean word for a special dog soup, became the topic of conversation. It's rare that women like it or have even tried it. The five women in my conversation class had never tried boshintang.

But for men, it's wildly popular. They believe that eating the dog meat gives a man sexual health. (No joke.)

I've even heard some men comment that it's their favorite meat.

No I have to try it. Maybe it will be "mashita" (Korean for delicious.) Plus, words gotten around that I want to try boshintang, and there are Koreans lining up to take me out.

Dog season takes place in the summer, and with June almost at a halfway point, it's almost a guarantee that I will try it soon.

Now here's the fun part for you. Let's get a betting pool together about when I will try dog. We've got from June 9 through, let's say, August 2. Everyone who wants to play can paypal me a buck for a date. Purchase as many dates as you please. The winner, (Price is Right Rules of closest without going over) wins the money in the pool minus a 20 percent administrative fee.

Good luck!

Saturday, June 2, 2007

Majusaeyo?

The Korean word for, "Is it delicious?"

That was one word I heard a lot from Thursday afternoon to Friday evening.

It was my school's anniversary, or as the Korean's translate it, the school's birthday.

Another sweet thing about working in the Korean public schools is that on top of the federal holidays, of which there are 13 a year, each school has a set of five floating holidays. One of those floating holidays is the school's anniversary.

So on the anniversary of your school opening its door, you get a day off. Pretty sweet, huh?

What was also cool, was my school organized a trip for the teachers to Suanbo, which means "hot springs" in Korean.

About 2 and a half hours to the south of Seoul, we went hiking through a historical forest that dates back to the 14th Century, sang karaoke and danced at a night club, saw a historic temple and the ruins of one of Korea's palace.

Throughout the entire trip though, my Korean colleagues were impressed with the most mundane things I did. "You use chopsticks very well."

"You are a very strong drinker."

"You walk so fast."

It was cute the way they were amazed that a white man can do all these things. I felt like doing the same to them, but why cut off the reflective glory in which I could bask.

My colleagues are very cool though, because for 24 hours any time someone poured a bottle, bought a snack or sat down for a meal, they would wave me over to give me some of whatever they had and then ask me, "Majusaeyo?"

Some of the food sucked, but they looked so cute and invested in what I would eat, I didn't have the heart to tell them I thought it tasted like a bland mush.

Now I'm a pretty decent guy and I'm downright tolerant to some degree, but for a solid 24 hours I was accosted by Koreans with food, all of them asking me, "Is it delicious?" It got old toward the end of the trip.

Plus it was 24 hours in the wilderness, doing hikes and being amongst nature. Which is nice for about 24 hours, but then I tire of the cheap showiness of nature.

By Friday evening I needed my beautiful concrete jungle, with people who don't give a damn whether I think something is delicious.