Sefton is such a jackass ...

For many of you, Sefton is just a strange Swiss name.

Forgive his ancestors for hiding Jewish gold during the holocaust, because Sefton is an OK guy. I worked with him for a year in Selma, California (the raisin capitol of the world) at the Selma Enterprise.

Sefton is a very talented photographer but he gets news and art confused. One time he went to a car crash and took a picture of a woman crying. It was a great shot, but I asked him, "Where's the fucking car crash."

You must be asking yourself, "Why, why James, are you writing about a southerner (one of the few who uses a toothbrush and doesn't go to church) in your blog about Korea."

See folks, Sefton went to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Yes, he is a Tarheel (gay mascot name by the way). As you all should know, I went to the University of Southern California (rated by TIME Magazine as "College of the Year" in 2000, and proud to claim alumni ranging from the late great Art Buchwald to Neil Armstrong).

Anyway, I sent Sefton an electronic mail this week offering him a little wager.

In said electronic mail,I wrote:
"My beloved underdog Fifth Seed Trojans against your First Seed Tarheels.

I think in the interest of sportsmanship and friendship we make some kind of bet on the game.

How's this. If SC wins, you stand somewhere in public in the south holding a big sign that reads, "USC beat UNC and I suck balls"

If UNC wins, I stand somewhere in Seoul holding a sign that reads, "UNC beat USC and I eat anus."

What do you think?

Ambassador Delicious (a long story to explain that one)

P.S. Of course we need photographs taken at each location and we'll go honor system in hopes that you don't just photoshop it in."
Sefton, unfortunately for all of you, is a coward and does not gamble. He replied:
"First of all, as you know, I don't gamble on games
involving my beloved Tar Heels.

Second of all, I can understand the humiliating aspect
of me holding a sign like that around here. I am after
all in the Bible belt. But for you to hold up a sign
in English in a public place in Korea clearly does not
generate the same amount of shame.
So bite me.

You eat anus anyway.

Sefton"


Having my name sullied in such a manner, I replied:

"There are actually a few foreigner districts that are mostly inhabited by English teachers and GIs. One of them, Itaewon, is like Las Vegas without the gambling. I would hold the sign there.

Second, the fact that I on more than one occasion have eaten cow anus is nothing to be ashamed of as it is a delicacy in Turkey. And the fact that I've tossed my fair share of sheep's salads is also nothing I am ashamed of. I lived in Riverdale for fucks sake. There was nothing else to do and it was a step up from the local women. (that last part is true too)"
Well it is a shame for all of you, because today would have been the day I stepped out into the public square and wore the sign.

However, Sefton did not want to bet.

Could have been a great picture ...


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On a side note I am sorry for not writing as much as I should be. I promise you,dear readers, that within the next four days I will post at least two new posts and go back to a schedule of three posts a week. Coming up, "It's a special kind of chicken," and "Second place."