The foreigner special olympics ...

Do me a favor as you read this blog. Cue up the song "Chariots of Fire."

So there we were. It was Korean Thanksgiving and Marissa and I each had three nice weekdays off.

And as a bonus, there was a Monet exhibition at the Seoul Museum of Art. I was two weeks into my knee injury, but I was going to be damned if we missed this exhibit, especially since it was scheduled to close the day after Korean Thanksgiving.

We made it to the subway station and as we walked out, I saw him.

Another foreigner on crutches. He had an accent and was British/Scottish/Mexican/Irish/South African/Australian or Kiwi. I can't tell them apart.

We were heading out the same exit. It was on. Neither of us said anything, but made eye contact and understood. One of us would be the first one up the stairs.



Korea's not bad when it comes to handicapped access, but it's not great either. Most of the subway stations have elevators or escalators, but they take out a different exit and it's an easy way to get lost.

My competitor in this foreigners special olympics was on two crutches as I had been the week prior. That gave me a clear speed advantage. He also was sporting a left knee injury but fractured the bone versus my partially torn tendon. That's about a wash in my opinion.

However, I had the speed advantage of one crutch and a brace versus his two crutches and splint.

And away they go ...

I started the race pacing myself. It was a big set of stairs and I didn't want to tire myself out. About halfway though, I realized I had this guy. He was moving slow and too cautiously. Then I was off. I easily outpaced him in the second half.

Reaching the finish line.

Winning that race up the stairs my seem like a small, petty victory, but it meant the world to me. After two weeks of having old people walk faster than me, I was finally faster than someone.

Let's go out ...

It was Marissa's third Saturday in Korea and it was time to go out.

So we went to the Hospital.

Though I fell the day before, I waited for a day until I couldn't walk anymore. Finally it was time to go to the hospital.

Now there's plenty of hospitals here in Korea that have English speaking International Clinics, but I didn't feel like taking a cab.

So we get in and I'm able to point to my knee and say, "It hurts here," in Korean.

Now the fun begins.

The Korean hospital wasn't as clean as I would like, but it was much better than Antelope Valley Hospital, where I stayed for a few days in 2005 for pneumonia.

The emergency room there was like a triage unit, a large room about the size of a first story home in America. Approximately 20 beds were there in this room where people lay next to each other, no matter how severe their ailments were.

Next to me was a man who had his arm broken in what appeared to be an accident with some friends, who also were there with various broken appendages.

On the other side of me, the most priceless entertainment a man in pain could ask for: A dramatic Korean woman.

Marissa and I do not speak Korean. But we can still smell bullshit. This woman kept turning in her bed, moaning, waving her arms slowly in the air and over her forehead and swooning for the most hilarious drama I can recall.

I do know enough Korean to know what her doctor said to her when he walked over and said, "You just need to go home and rest."

In Korea, there is no such thing as doctor-patient confidentiality. Everyone is out in the open and everyone can see and hear what the doctor is doing to you and telling you.

That's when things got interesting and fun.

The fellas to my right were sending one of their more able bodied friends on a beer run. That's right. Hospital be damned, the dude was getting beer. Also, one of my favorite visuals from the Korean hospital, were people standing outside the entrance in the patient gowns, smoking cigarettes. Some even had IVs with them but they wanted to step outside and enjoy a nice smoke break.

That's commitment. One has to tip their hat to the Korean men smoking outside.

I managed to get patched up with a referral for an orthopedic doctor the following Monday.

All and all, it was a decent experience. I was in an out within 5 hours, which is just the waiting time for many U.S. hospitals. They had doctors on staff who spoke English and they correctly diagnosed me.

The only bad part was they put me in a whole leg splint that went from my foot to thigh and was held in place by bandages.

Fortunately the first orthopedic doctor I saw put me in a smaller splint which only went from the top of my knee to the middle of my calf.

Next up on LoughriedoesKorea.blogspot.com, the foreigners special Olympics ....

A minor setback ...

Yes, that's a knee brace.

Yes, I'm injured.

The embarrassing incident took place two weeks ago when I fell in the bathroom. Yes, I fell in the bathroom. Go ahead, laugh crack all the jokes you want.

See all the bathrooms here in Korea have a drain at the sink and the floors are all tile and get very wet. The floor is sloped toward the drain so the bathroom dries out within an hour or so.

But it get slippery, and despite numerous close calls, I landed on my left knee in the bathroom.

Nothing was broken but there were partial tendon tears in my knee. I'm getting better now and no longer need my crutch for walking.

Suffice to say it's been an interesting few weeks for Marissa and I.

The knee story will come in more installments, including the hospital visit, handicapped access and will finish off at the end of the week with the Foreigner Special Olympics.

OK, I'm back ....

I know this picture could have been taken anywhere. But it's in Korea, trust me.

and I've got company.

Some of you may know that Marissa, my girlfriend of almost two years, is with me now in Korea.

We did the long distance thing when I was in Turkey and my first six months here in Korea.

But skype and emails are no way to conduct a relationship, and when she heard about how tasty dog is, she said, "Yes, I'm coming to Korea."

It's been great taking her around Seoul. So far, we've been to the singing room (private karaoke) three times in the last three weeks. We've also been the foreigner district thrice. Each time we go is like a visit to America, Ireland and Turkey. Or at least the bar Nashville's, our pub the Wolfhound and my Turkish kebab vendor.

But with moving to a new environment comes new customs, practices and adjustments. The most repeated phrase of the last three weeks has been, "You'll get used to it."

See, Koreans are a quirky people. Here's a list of things they do and don't do:

-They don't wait in lines or queues. In fact, I don't think the concept of queue registers here.
-They stare at the foreigners. I think it comes from living in a homogeneous society. When you're country is made of 97% of one race, a couple of white Americans don't really blend in.
-They spit on the sidewalk. A Korean man doesn't think twice about horking on the street or sidewalk.
-They don't follow the unspoken, yet understood Western rule of elevators. That's right, they don't get out of the way for people getting off or wait for them to get off before getting on. You just have to shove your way through.
-Crazy ass cab drivers. Yeah, we all know the stereotypes about Asian drivers. Well, I'm here to report it's true.


But there's plenty of good things too:
-The subway takes you anywhere you want to go and it's cheap. About a U.S. Dollar and you can take the train anywhere. Plus it's immaculately clean and safe.
-Seoul doesn't really close. If you want to go out and stay out until 5 or 6 a.m. it easily doable. That can be a bad thing too, but so far I've kept up my old man consistency of going to bed by 9.
-Koreans are pretty friendly. Yeah there's the occasional jerk, but that's in every country. Overall, they're hospitable and nice.
-Everything is within walking distance, especially from my apartment which is in a nice neighborhood.
-Life here is generally easy. Teaching is so little stress compared to journalism and we have much more free time and better holidays.

It's been great. And our weekends have been so filled, that I've neglected you dear readers. But here's a LoughriedoesKorea promise. I will post more, but you must do the following: LEAVE YOUR NAME WHEN YOU COMMENT.

I don't care what you write, I just want to know who it is.

I will post each week with a recap of weekends, stories and, of course, wacky adventures.

Free Hugs ...

Yes, the offer was too good to refuse.

I've read about these kind of people in China and other countries. They stand in the streets and shopping centers with a sign that reads ... you guessed it, Free Hugs.

One day out with Phil, Kerry and Jed, in Insadong Seoul (which could be best described as the Soho of Seoul) we see a dude holding the sign. "Free hugs."

What do you think I did?


It was an offer I couldn't refuse.

But the free hug thing is more than just people standing with a sign. There are people all over Seoul wearing "Free Hugs" shirts. I'm tempted to just walk up to them and put my arms out for a hug. But I'm also leery of going back to jail or having to re-register, if you know what I mean.

But maybe I can hold the "Free Hugs" sign for a few hours one day. I'll have to have video along with me though, as that's something I want recorded for eternity.

Just when I've gotten back into writing ...

As many of you good readers can tell, I've recently found my muse and am posting on a fairly regular basis.

But in a matter of a week and a few days I'm back home, where, I can't guarantee I will want to write. (My hands might be filled with food the entire time I'm there.)

So now, a loughriedoeskorea.blogspot.com opportunity.

How would you like to post on my blog?

That's write (spelled as such intentionally). I'll let you take the wheel and write an entry for my blog. Just e-mail me a picture and your blog post and I will publish it*

Think about all the things you want to say. Want to tell me I suck? Post it! Want to advocate overthrowing the U.S. Government? Post it! Want to make fun of natural disaster victims? Post it! Wanna tell people about that time we were drunk in a bar and killed that hobo just for laughs? Better not post it, as there is still an investigation open.

I'll be parked by the virtual mailbox waiting. The posts will run from August 17 to August 30.

*This is a special notice for Keller. He thinks some pretty sick shit and he is a sick guy. I do not guarantee I will publish anything that comes in, especially from Keller, who is a good friend and a Trojan brother but also a psychopath. Anyone whose read this blog knows the bar is pretty low when it comes to standards, quality and ethics. But Keller could make me look like a The Pope (the nice one who watched kids breakdance, not the Hitler Youth one.)

The almost silent killer in my flat ...

Yes, this could kill you. At least that's what Koreans believe.

Many Koreans believe if you leave a fan on in the room while you sleep, it could both lower your body temperature or suck the oxygen out of the room.

No, I'm not joking.

Many intelligent people here, including teachers, doctors and nurses, believe sleeping with the fan on is "dangerous."

Unfortunately, now would be the time I posted a link showing one of a handful of news articles that pops up in the Korean press. Except there's one problem: all of the articles are in Korean.

This is one thing that pisses me off. Yes, I laugh at these people on a regular basis for this, and try to explain that it doesn't exist. So the Korean media, which has several English outlets, doesn't translate any of their fan death stories.

HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MOCK YOU WHEN YOU DON'T GIVE ME THE TOOLS.

I get the second-hand stories from co-workers who tell me they either read about it or see it on television.

But then I get angrier, when I realize the Koreans invited me here to their country so I can teach their children English and better equip them for life in a global marketplace, but don't give a damn if I die from leaving my fan on all night. Thick bastards.

I suspect there are plenty of you who do not believe a damn word of this, so I will provide the following links to peruse:

A site dedicated to fan death, appropriately named, fandeath.net

And this from Wikipedia. Yeah I know, it's wikipedia, but it's the best we can do right now.

When I find an English article you people will be the first to read it.

Until then, I'm gambling with my life as the fan blows in my closed apartment.