Seoul Land - Bumper cars

A rare near bump during bumper cars.

OK, So I know we've all heard the jokes about Asian drivers. And for the most part (99%) those jokes are true. The same goes in Asia itself. Drivers here in Korea are HORRIBLE.

Oddly, because I've never seen this rule follow in another country, the cabbies here are the best drivers. The rest of the streets are bedlam though.

So when I was at Seoul Land with the kids a few weeks ago, I saw bumper cars and thought, "This might be cool."

And there was a big part of me, who hasn't driven a car since he left America, to take on the Asians. Since I don't have a car here, this would be the only way I could really show them how one can drive bad.

Look how damn far apart these cars are.

But as I queued for the bumper cars I saw something that struck me. These people were driving fine. They weren't even bumping each other. THEY DROVE BUMPER CARS BETTER THAN THEY DRIVE REGULAR CARS!

What the hell is wrong with you people.

Sometimes I feel bad about taking a paycheck for this job ...

Actually, no, that thought has never crossed my mind.

Nor did it when I went with the fourth graders to Seoul Land amusement park Monday.

Since I teach fourth grade classes every Monday, it was only natural that I join the kids on their field trip, then ditch them when they went into some show so I could go on roller coasters.

Me and the kids at the end of the day.

It was a blast though, which really surprised me. I hate amusement parks, but Korean amusement parks are kind of cool. For one, they are full of copyright violations.



Check out the Peter Pan ride and the knockoff Epcot Center.

As cheesy as it sounds though, the best part of the day was the kids. The kids at my school love me for the simple fact that I am a foreigner. All day they were hanging around with me, watching me play games and going nuts when I did anything.



Korean kids can't help but make the peace sign when they pose for pictures. Next weeks lesson is that it doesn't look cool anymore.

At lunch time, we were in this children's play land area and went in an played some of the games. When I went to the Chuck E. Cheese style ball room, they kids went nuts and started pelting me with plastic balls. Some of those kids had some pretty good arms on them too.

This netting reminded me of obstacle course in basic before I went to Nam.

I ran into this room with thinking the padded columns stood up against force. I fell on my ass, but then again, the kids loved watching Mr. L fall.

The ball room.

Dogs ...

Yes, it's finally come to posting about eating dogs.

I was hesitant to seek this topic out, being a dog lover, but oh too curious not to ask Koreans about dog meat.

As many people have inquired through comments and questions on this blog and through e-mail, I went and found answers. The things I do for you people.

Dog meat is popular here. Oh yes it is. It's not just a North Korean thing but a Korean thing. And it's odd because it's not something you come across everyday. It would be almost impossible to "accidentally" eat dog meat. First, because it's regarded as a delicacy and only served in seasons. Second because Koreans don't just come out with the fact that they love chomping on man's best friend.

But, I've been diplomatic about it. After all, I didn't feel comfortable just arriving off the plane and asking, "Where's Rover? I'm starving."

No, Koreans are very aware of what Westerners think about dog meat, partly thanks to the bang up Korean media (these guys [media outlets] really suck.)

This monk, praying at a ancient temple site, might be Buddhist, but he's also Korea. More than likely, the dog next to him will be consumed within the next few months.

It all started a few weeks ago in an English conversation class I have every Friday with teachers. We have a "anything goes" policy implemented by me that anyone may ask any question and the only person who has veto power is me. (OK, this isn't a formal rule, but what can I say, I enforce it regularly.)

We were discussing travel and what bizarre things we've eaten as a result. I mentioned kokorech, a delightful Turkish sandwich made of sheep's intestines. (It was one of my favorite Turkish foods.)

Then they asked me, "Will you eat dog?"

I've read an seen pictures about how horribly the dogs are treated before and when they die. (If you want to find out more about it just google it, I'm not doing all your research for you.)

But there's something in my mind and heart that knows I can't live in Korea without having tried dog meat. It would be damn near criminal of me.

So I answered very honestly, that I will try it at least once. (Maybe twice if I am allowed seconds.

Boshintang, which is the Korean word for a special dog soup, became the topic of conversation. It's rare that women like it or have even tried it. The five women in my conversation class had never tried boshintang.

But for men, it's wildly popular. They believe that eating the dog meat gives a man sexual health. (No joke.)

I've even heard some men comment that it's their favorite meat.

No I have to try it. Maybe it will be "mashita" (Korean for delicious.) Plus, words gotten around that I want to try boshintang, and there are Koreans lining up to take me out.

Dog season takes place in the summer, and with June almost at a halfway point, it's almost a guarantee that I will try it soon.

Now here's the fun part for you. Let's get a betting pool together about when I will try dog. We've got from June 9 through, let's say, August 2. Everyone who wants to play can paypal me a buck for a date. Purchase as many dates as you please. The winner, (Price is Right Rules of closest without going over) wins the money in the pool minus a 20 percent administrative fee.

Good luck!

Majusaeyo?

The Korean word for, "Is it delicious?"

That was one word I heard a lot from Thursday afternoon to Friday evening.

It was my school's anniversary, or as the Korean's translate it, the school's birthday.

Another sweet thing about working in the Korean public schools is that on top of the federal holidays, of which there are 13 a year, each school has a set of five floating holidays. One of those floating holidays is the school's anniversary.

So on the anniversary of your school opening its door, you get a day off. Pretty sweet, huh?

What was also cool, was my school organized a trip for the teachers to Suanbo, which means "hot springs" in Korean.

About 2 and a half hours to the south of Seoul, we went hiking through a historical forest that dates back to the 14th Century, sang karaoke and danced at a night club, saw a historic temple and the ruins of one of Korea's palace.

Throughout the entire trip though, my Korean colleagues were impressed with the most mundane things I did. "You use chopsticks very well."

"You are a very strong drinker."

"You walk so fast."

It was cute the way they were amazed that a white man can do all these things. I felt like doing the same to them, but why cut off the reflective glory in which I could bask.

My colleagues are very cool though, because for 24 hours any time someone poured a bottle, bought a snack or sat down for a meal, they would wave me over to give me some of whatever they had and then ask me, "Majusaeyo?"

Some of the food sucked, but they looked so cute and invested in what I would eat, I didn't have the heart to tell them I thought it tasted like a bland mush.

Now I'm a pretty decent guy and I'm downright tolerant to some degree, but for a solid 24 hours I was accosted by Koreans with food, all of them asking me, "Is it delicious?" It got old toward the end of the trip.

Plus it was 24 hours in the wilderness, doing hikes and being amongst nature. Which is nice for about 24 hours, but then I tire of the cheap showiness of nature.

By Friday evening I needed my beautiful concrete jungle, with people who don't give a damn whether I think something is delicious.

Hapkido

Yes, sometimes to find inspiration for writing, I will go as far as attending a Hapkido class.

Hapkido is one of the Martial Arts created here in Korea. Yesterday was my first class.

Now for those of you laughing at me already, thinking: 1) About the "Seinfeld" episode where Kramer takes Karate classes and beats up on the kids, until they tire of it and gang up on him after class; or 2) comparing me to Amico hear me out.

I am in Asia and I need exercise. What better way to make good use of my time here than to take on a Martial Arts course. Besides, if any of you continue to laugh at me, the next time I see you, I will drop you. It's that simple.

I know Martial Arts are practiced for "self defense" but I'm using for "self offense." I want to become the physical bully I've always wanted to be.

No more paying for things I don't want to pay for. No more intentionally not looking at gang members hoping they don't remember me or my past work as a reporter. No more being polite to people larger than me out of fear they can take me.

Yes, Hapkido does not focus on attack moves but more defense moves that turn the attackers force into a weapon against him. (And I say him, because I don't need Hapkido to defend myself against a chick.) But these moves of defense can easily be tailored to moves of attack.

Look out world, I'm gonna kick your ass.

OK, I'm back and I want your help

Look folks, I've been MIA for a while, but everything's OK.

It was a two-fold problem.

1) I didn't have many ideas.
Sometimes when writing I need to take a break and get some ideas. Take a look around and see what's happening and what would make a good post. I don't want to post just for the sake of posting (though this is what it feels like). I want to write a good entry, a good story that you will enjoy reading and - more importantly - that I will enjoy writing.

2) I didn't feel like writing.
I was a reporter for three years, as many of you know. There's little room to "find your motivation" as a reporter. There's a deadline and space to fill. You write because you have to.

I remember once hearing fellow SC alumnus Art Buchwald tell a story upon visiting the Annenberg School for Communication. Buchwald said, "When you're a reporter, there's no such thing as writer's block. You just write."

So I'm back and now comes the part where I ask for your help. Send me some ideas. I have some, but I want more. And more importantly, I want to know what you want to know. What questions do you have about Korea? Do you want to hear anything in particular? Do you want to know more about daily life, school or teaching? What do you want to hear about? I'll keep this post up for a week until I get some ideas from you people.

And for those of you reading this from the good ole' Palmdale, California, stop asking Marissa when I am going to post again. Instead write me and ask ME!!! (And include some ideas for blog posts.)

Field Trip!!!

Yes, it was field trip day a few weeks ago. One afternoon, the school closed early and we booked it for the Korean National Cemetery followed by a street where Korea's Cherry Blossom Trees bloomed.

I found it strange though that when we got to the Korean National Cemetery, it was only teachers. (Grade 3 Teachers specifically.)

"Where are the students," I asked.

"They go next week," my co-teacher replied.

So we're taking a field trip for teachers? Alright, I'll roll with it.

The first stop, the Korean National Cemetery, was a nice sight. It featured tanks, airplanes and cannons used by the Korean Military and monuments to fallen soldiers. But what I really noticed was how damn neat and tidy the tombstones were.

By far the cleanest and neatest cemetery I've ever seen. And I've been to a lot of cemeteries.


Notice how each headstone has alternating red or yellow flowers.

I asked my co-teacher, Son Young, "Do all cemeteries in Korea look like this, or is this one special because it's the government cemetery?"

"All the cemeteries are like this," she said. I still don't know whether to believe her and will make trips to witness these Necropoli for myself.

As a fan of cemeteries, I must say it was somewhat disappointing. Every single headstone looks the same and carries only text (which I couldn't read because it's written in Korean.)

But there was no difference in height, width or style amongst the tombstones. Kind of boring for a cemetery aficionado like myself.

But, as a former death care professional, I admired the ease this created for cemetery maintenance and upkeep. Mowers do not have to zig and zag between odd shaped rows. There was no variation in a row of column of headstones.

Every headstone was numbered too, which would make navigating the cemetery ideal.

The Korean Cemetery is parallel with what I've learned of Korean society. Because it's based on the Confucian Philosophy, there is not a strong desire for people to stand out. The group is considered more important, as is benefiting the group. It's kind of nice living amongst this philosophy when American children and people thing they are all special and everyone wants to hear what they have to say.