"Second place ... "

and no, not first loser, but the second place last Friday evening.

As you may recall from the last post, I was out to dinner with the male teachers from my school.

Here in Korea though, it's rare that you go one place. If you go to dinner, you almost always go to a second place for more booze and fun. So when my vice principal told me the English translation, "Singing Room," I happily shrieked the Korean word, Norebang.

Many of you in the states know I love karaoke. Maweja in Turkey knows I like it so much that if I can't find karaoke, like I couldn't in Turkey, I will sing live when I can.

Norebang is different from Karaoke in it's a small room where you get a personalized big screen television and remote control to enter in song names. There is a decent variety of English songs here in Korea, but I am already researching a method to get more. (I'll keep you posted.)

A group goes to a Norebang studio and rents the room per hour, commencing to sing and have a merry good time. It's like your own private karaoke lounge.

To me it has its pluses and drawbacks.

Pluses: You're only with your friends, so there is an increased freedom to try new songs that you normally wouldn't sing. (Some of you have seen me do multiple songs over again, a shame, but sometimes you have to go with what you know.)

Minuses: There isn't a huge crowd cheering when you nail it. That is one of the greatest feelings in the world.

But there with my Korean coworkers, I belted out a few tunes and even did some experimenting.

I sang, "What a Wonderful World," with a raspy tribute to Sachmo and was given the compliment, "You sound just like Neil Armstrong."

Thanks ... I think.

I as really impressed with my coworkers. These Koreans have some pipes on them. They can sing really well. I wouldn't just say this because I was drunk and everything sounds better when you're wasted.

Norebang is going to be it's own post next time, because I just can't write enough about this.

More later,

annyonghi kaseyo,

James

"It's a special kind of chicken ... "

"it's made with poison, but only a small amount."

That was my warning heading into dinner Friday night.

The male teachers at my school gather once a month and eat dinner. My friend and tennis partner Mr. Ur told me about the event and poison we'd be consuming that night.

At first I thought maybe it was a translation problem, not really poison but something that could be bad for you in large doses like cooking with lard (but it tastes oh so right.)

I entered the restaurant, which was a traditional Korean venue tucked away of a small hillside. When I got there, I saw two dogs chained up in the front yard of what looked like a house. Those dogs, I assume, will be consumed one day when they get big enough.

I took off my shoes and entered this banquet room with the small Asian style table you see in some U.S. restaurants.

Things were going well until Mr. Ur handed me a pill and said, "It's for prevention, because of the poison."

At that point I started to worry. I already had a sore throat that I would discover two days later is a cold. I felt a little uneasy about eating something that required I take a pill beforehand.

Then I said to myself, "Self, every man dies. Not every man truly lives."

Turns out it wasn't all that poisonous. But the Soju was.

Soju is a very popular rice liquor (approximately 25% alcohol) here that tastes like ass on the first shot. It's a bizarre drink because there is no flavor or taste out of the first shot. It's just nasty alcohol. But the second shot goes down much easier. By the third shot taste is no longer an issue.

And in Korea, when you're out with a group of men you drink A LOT of soju.

More on the second part of Friday night later.

Sefton is such a jackass ...

For many of you, Sefton is just a strange Swiss name.

Forgive his ancestors for hiding Jewish gold during the holocaust, because Sefton is an OK guy. I worked with him for a year in Selma, California (the raisin capitol of the world) at the Selma Enterprise.

Sefton is a very talented photographer but he gets news and art confused. One time he went to a car crash and took a picture of a woman crying. It was a great shot, but I asked him, "Where's the fucking car crash."

You must be asking yourself, "Why, why James, are you writing about a southerner (one of the few who uses a toothbrush and doesn't go to church) in your blog about Korea."

See folks, Sefton went to the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. Yes, he is a Tarheel (gay mascot name by the way). As you all should know, I went to the University of Southern California (rated by TIME Magazine as "College of the Year" in 2000, and proud to claim alumni ranging from the late great Art Buchwald to Neil Armstrong).

Anyway, I sent Sefton an electronic mail this week offering him a little wager.

In said electronic mail,I wrote:
"My beloved underdog Fifth Seed Trojans against your First Seed Tarheels.

I think in the interest of sportsmanship and friendship we make some kind of bet on the game.

How's this. If SC wins, you stand somewhere in public in the south holding a big sign that reads, "USC beat UNC and I suck balls"

If UNC wins, I stand somewhere in Seoul holding a sign that reads, "UNC beat USC and I eat anus."

What do you think?

Ambassador Delicious (a long story to explain that one)

P.S. Of course we need photographs taken at each location and we'll go honor system in hopes that you don't just photoshop it in."
Sefton, unfortunately for all of you, is a coward and does not gamble. He replied:
"First of all, as you know, I don't gamble on games
involving my beloved Tar Heels.

Second of all, I can understand the humiliating aspect
of me holding a sign like that around here. I am after
all in the Bible belt. But for you to hold up a sign
in English in a public place in Korea clearly does not
generate the same amount of shame.
So bite me.

You eat anus anyway.

Sefton"


Having my name sullied in such a manner, I replied:

"There are actually a few foreigner districts that are mostly inhabited by English teachers and GIs. One of them, Itaewon, is like Las Vegas without the gambling. I would hold the sign there.

Second, the fact that I on more than one occasion have eaten cow anus is nothing to be ashamed of as it is a delicacy in Turkey. And the fact that I've tossed my fair share of sheep's salads is also nothing I am ashamed of. I lived in Riverdale for fucks sake. There was nothing else to do and it was a step up from the local women. (that last part is true too)"
Well it is a shame for all of you, because today would have been the day I stepped out into the public square and wore the sign.

However, Sefton did not want to bet.

Could have been a great picture ...


***


On a side note I am sorry for not writing as much as I should be. I promise you,dear readers, that within the next four days I will post at least two new posts and go back to a schedule of three posts a week. Coming up, "It's a special kind of chicken," and "Second place."

Wow, I'm bigger than Jesus here ...

or at least bigger than the fourth graders I teach. Except for that one, but she'll fail my class for that reason alone.

Yes America and rest of the world, I am somewhat settled in to Korean life. Let me give you the run down of the last few days (like any of you really care.)

I arrived in Korea March 1 and began a one week orientation session at a corporate retreat facility about one hour south of Seoul. There were 50 of us who had been hired to teach for the Seoul Metropolitan Office of Education who attended.

It was an awesome orientation for a few reasons, my most important is I made friends, some of whom teach in my area. (If that was the wrong usage of whom and you feel like pointing it out ... bite me. My vocabulary has gotten a lot worser since I done began teaching the Engrishee.)

On Thursday we finished the orientation and went in different buses to our new district offices within Seoul. There I met one of my co-teachers, one of three really nice Korean ladies who teach class with me and help explain grammar to the kids in Korean as well as dole out punishment.

Friday was the first day of school and normally I wouldn't show up fifteen minutes late my first day of work, but I was lost and even went to the wrong school. (No joke, I walked into a high school near mine, thought their vice principal was mine and asked where my office was.)

Fortunately, he pointed out where my school was and I was off.

I haven't done much at school over the last two days other than walk into classrooms and tell the students "Hello, I'm Mr. L. How are you today?"

But the kids go nuts seeing me. I think it's the first time many of them have seen a white person outside of the television.

They stop dead in their tracks in the hall way, bow and then wave to me screaming, "Hi."

It's like I'm a celebrity.

Today I even went on the school's morning talk show (though it's not really a talk show but televised announcements) and said hello. I was impressed too. They have fifth and sixth graders who put that show together, cut to different shot between the cameras and even patch it through to the school.

I don't even trust American children to look into a video camera yet alone use one.

There are a few drawbacks though. I don't have a regular Internet connection in my apartment yet, so whenever I can catch a signal (like now) will post. I should be on my class computer the rest of this week, so I will post more about my school, what I already think is the best idea in education that takes place in Korea and what my neighborhood is like.

Sayonara (I don't know the Korean words for goodbye yet),

James

But we had rice yesterday ...

and this morning. And this afternoon.

So I'm getting used to Korean cuisine, which is actually quit tasty, even in the cafeteria setting where I'm consuming it.

But it's been two days now and I've eaten rice with every meal. I like rice, I just don't know how many consecutive meals I can go eating it. But for you dear readers, I will tally the days in a row and consecutive meals I consume with rice. So far, two days, six meals.

Finally ...

I'm considered average height.

I made it here to Korea yesterday and at the aiport noticed how well I stand in. I'm not considered "tall" here as there were a few 5'10" Koreans walking around. They were in the minority though.

I can tell you instantly that for the first time in my life, I am at least of average, or dare I say, above average height.

I'm at a training facility in Suwon, about one hour south of Seoul. It's me and all the other teachers who came in to the district. Since we're all first timers with the district, we're getting a training course in what they expect, lesson delivery and most importantly, where to find the best dog meat sandwiches.

Postings will be spotty for the next week. Though I'm allegedly in the most internet wired country in the world, there seems to be no wifi in my room. MEH!

I'll try and add another post this weekend because me and my new fellow teachers are going to ... NOREBANG. Oh sorry, that's the Korean word for KARAOKE.

It's been so long since I've done karaoke. I can't wait to sing again. (Yes I sang live in Turkey a few times, but both artforms are great. Each brings their own set of advantages and disadvantages.)


James